Although Imposter Syndrome exists only in the mind, it can hold back some people from achieving their full potential. When we look around us, it's easy to only see the success and confidence of others, and that can lead to self-doubt, negative feelings, and not taking opportunities when they come along, plus it can also be linked to anxiety and depression. But recognising it for what it is, is a huge step towards fixing Imposter Syndrome.
Symptoms include:
- Thinking your peers are more capable than you are
- Fear of being seen as a failure
- Feeling unworthy of attention or affection
- Not asking questions in meetings or lectures (or in the classroom)
- Downplaying your accomplishments
- Crediting luck for any success you may have
- Feeling that overworking is the only way to meet expectations
- Holding back from reaching goals you should be able to reach
Here are a few Imposter Syndrome coping strategies:
Don't be afraid to share your feelings about Imposter Syndrome with others – you may find they're experiencing the same issues as you. This can give you more confidence and help you see that your thoughts are irrational – particularly when you talk to someone you believe has a good opinion of you.
Know that you're not alone
We often fail to acknowledge that other people feel exactly the same as we do. Social Media doesn't help. Very few of us present an honest warts-and-all picture of ourselves. Our accounts are carefully polished; our recycling bins are crammed with dreadful images. But it rarely clicks that everyone else is doing the same thing. And feeling the same way. You are far from being the only one suffering from Imposter Syndrome.
Being 99% good at something is not a failure. Appreciate that other people may only be capable of doing the same job to 70%. 80% will be good enough, and 90% will be better than most. Don't think of this as lowering the bar – it's simply reframing how well you've done and what you've achieved. Also, many jobs don't need to be done to 100%. Perfectionists will spend time getting a job from 80% to 100%, but a smarter strategy may be to use that time to do a second task to 80% and get much more done.
Success in anything only exists outside your comfort zone, so you need to take action – feel the fear and do it anyway, even if your head is awash with self-doubt. As your comfort zone expands, have confidence in the fact that your levels of anxiety will reduce automatically.
Note your accomplishments and celebrate successes
Create a list that reminds you of how great you are, and that other people think you're great too, and refer to this list when you have moments of doubt. This helps reframe your mind and evaporate less helpful thoughts.
Celebrating success helps dispel thoughts that we're undeserving and gives us confidence in our abilities. Be sure to celebrate small wins as well as large ones. Imposter Syndrome sufferers tend to move on too quickly and treat wins with relief rather than taking pride in an achievement and properly marking it.
We see other people's successes, but we don't always notice their flops, whereas we always see our own failures. This gives us a poor perspective and makes us think of ourselves as being less capable in comparison. Opening up with others can help demonstrate that you're no different and that everyone has the same issues as you do. It can often be easier to speak to strangers than those who know you well.
Failure is not a sign of being awful. Failure is a sign that you're trying to achieve something. You should give yourself credit for this. One thing is certain, if you never try, you'll never fail, but you'll also never become successful.
Don't compare yourself to others
It's easy to overestimate how skilful or successful other people are. The reality is that everyone else probably feels just as insecure as you do. They're likely looking at you and wishing they were as calm, confident and successful as you. Don't compare yourself to others – they could be faking it even more than you are.
By Ian Child, author of ‘Your Own Personal Time Machine'
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Ian Child is a former corporate leader, co-founder of the training company propertyCEO (propertyceo.co.uk) and the author of ‘Your Own Personal Time Machine', a guide to getting your life back, available exclusively from amazon.co.uk. in paperback and e-book